Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Broken Down

It is what it is. That is the motto currant of my mechanic. I have break downs at work, some are physical.

This weird noise has been coming from my car when I drive. It's like a screaming hamster under the hood every time I make a tight turn. There is a burning smell, like a dead hamster roasting on the exhaust. They turn out to be related. The hamster is the rack and pinion steering that on my all wheel drive, seriously reliable car, is just as expensive in labor to replace as the parts. Poor hamster. So there goes the cost of about two car payments none of which I have made for three years. Screw the hamster, it is what it is. The owner of the shop gave me a ride home. His son had died some years ago, he had a fight with his wife last night. He wanted a break, I felt privileged to let him have one. We enjoyed my not yet finished property together, the view of the snow capped Southern California mountains is very good from here. We hung out with my rather sociable chickens and dog. We collected some eggs. He told me about the many things that had come together to give him some important answers, we were talking about my work, I always have something to say about how short life is. I live off the idea that if we have a choice, we can take a direction. A direction is a path we choose. A path goes somewhere. We live to travel, resting bloats the body and the mind.

Of the break downs at work. The mechanical ones are always covered by an 'extra'. There are spare lenses, camera bodies, batteries and helicopters. There are even extra people when I can't get there, sick or otherwise. I'm not spare, but the position, if there is a hole in the schedule can be filled. What can't be filled is the endless pit of self pity and woe is me some people seem to live for. They create drama and then come in as hero's to solve it. I don't get it. I do have to work with some whom I have seen 'excused from duty' in the 'real world' outside of 'civil service'. So many times I have had to reground myself and accept the steady pay check with the steady flow of poor judgment and attitudes. I really do like the core of what I do, it's what I focus on to get past the breakdowns.

I have a choice, that makes me alive, living really. If only being able to think and not get around how you like is the end of things for you, then please have a chat with Steven Hawking, if he can find the time for you. It is what it is. Please, go have a nice long walk down your path.

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